Somehow my trip is almost over. I'm definitely ready to go home and am in that place where I simultaneously can't believe I've been gone for three months but also can't believe that it's already time to leave. It will definitely be nice to get home. One reason being that most of the clothing that I brought with me doesn't fit anymore. That's not really a complaint but I really only have one pair of shorts that I can wear and look normal. Not that it's not kind of fun to be able to take off the other shorts and even my jeans without unbuttoning them, but, you know, I'd like to not look ridiculous when I go to Texas and actually have to be out in public. I at least went to Old Navy yesterday and picked up a couple of t-shirts.
Tapering is a tough thing. It's great to be in a position where I've been through this many times before and I know what to expect. I tend to feel like crap during the taper up until literally maybe a couple of days before the race. My workouts suck. I'm tired and feel sluggish. The shorter workouts seem more daunting than the much longer ones I'd otherwise be doing. Basically all I want to do in between the training is sleep. I think for a lot of people feeling like that would cause them to panic. To me, it pretty much puts me right on track. Even when I had my greatest race at Lake Placid on my long ride two weeks before I think I cried and I know that very much throughout I was seriously contemplating pulling over, throwing my bike in the woods to never see it again, and calling my dad to come get me. So I fully expect tomorrow's ride to be tons of fun.
One strange thing that has happened over my time here is that I'm actually starting to look like my old self again. I'm hoping to maintain this finally, but between stress fractures and family issues and more stress fractures I was definitely not as close to race weight as I'd like to be. Actually, nowhere near close. I'm not quite there but I'm close enough that at least I finally feel like it's physically possible again. And frankly just knowing that makes things a lot easier. I might even almost be looking forward to this race. It's been a few years since I approached a race that way rather than looking at it with absolute dread. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I think while things aren't entirely there, they are definitely moving in the right direction.