Never Anonymous

Once upon a time I could show up at a race, do my thing, and go home without anyone ever giving me a second thought.  I was just another name on the results, buried somewhere between the middle and the bottom; nothing spectacular, nothing notable.  Well, maybe I'd come in top five in my age group... which is easy to do when you are 20-24 and there are only somewhere between four and six people in it in the first place.  I remember going to races and not knowing a single soul except maybe my parents who had come to support me from the sidelines, camera around one of their necks like it was the first day of school or something.

This past weekend I participated in a little local race.  Sometimes when I do these races I think to myself that it would be fantastic to do only these kinds of races from now on.  They're way cheaper, there are so few people racing that parking is a breeze and you don't have to arrive three hours before it starts, there are only eight porta-potties and yet still no lines.  In fact, this is probably the first time I've gone into a porta-potty before a triathlon and been the first one to use it.  I didn't realize it was possible for them not to smell terrible.  The course isn't crowded and you don't have to worry about drowning on the swim due to hundreds of other people you're swimming with and you don't have to give a second thought about avoiding drafting, because people are just naturally very spread out. 

I'd never done a race where they took roll call before you got in the water to start your swim.  There were maybe ninety people racing but we were still separated into I believe four waves.  It was so strange to look around at the other competitors before the race and realize that I knew nobody.  Sure, that was normal when I first started racing, but especially to be racing local, I don't think I've done a race where I knew nobody since I raced in the middle of nowhere in Arizona.  And at least in that case it made sense to know nobody.  I feel as though I should know all of the triathletes in New Hampshire, but apparently I do not. 

Somehow swimming has become my best event.  This has less to do with my having gotten a lot better at swimming than the fact that I've gotten so much worse at biking and running.  Either way, I feel pretty good in the water, and after starting in a little pack and following some feet for a few minutes and a couple of swim buoys, I decided they were not moving fast enough for me and broke away, spending the remainder of the swim alone, with the exception of passing a few people from the wave in front of me.  After swimming two loops I spent the run up to transition feeling as though I was going to projectile vomit.  I felt fine during the swim, not sure where it came from, but I had to seriously slow down or risk an explosion of epic proportions.

Fortunately, the feeling subsided rather quickly once I was on the bike.  The approach for the race was to try and execute it well from a heart rate standpoint.  I am absolutely notorious for going too hard on the bike and faltering on the run.  Of course in my head I am convinced I can bike but not run, so why not push my best discipline since I know there is no way the run is going to save me?  This is the wrong attitude to have, by the way, but it's hard not to have that constantly running through my head.  But this time, instead I spent especially the first half of the ride keeping my heart rate down and thinking to myself I had to keep it in a place where I was sure I could maintain a higher heart rate on the run. 

This resulted in many, many people passing me.  I'm more used to not being passed by anyone on the bike, but that was not going to happen this time.  The course was fairly tough and hilly and I was just trying to be in control rather than "race" so that's what I did.  It's also funny to do a race so small that each aid station has precisely two volunteers.  And that was really all they needed.  Sadly, the on-course drink was HEED.  Okay, seriously, is there anyone out there that actually likes this stuff?  I don't know the science behind it, so maybe it is the perfect electrolyte drink, but it tastes like what I'd suspect the sweat I might ring out of my socks after a race would taste like. 

Anyway, the hills kept coming and I kept on not going very fast, but that's not really what I was thinking about.  I was thinking about just going for a ride and keeping my heart rate in the right place.  This resulted in my slowest half ironman bike in a while... wait, maybe not that long since Mooseman last year was a disaster, but still not a great one.  As I ran my bike into transition I heard a few people say my name and looked around to recognize nobody.  This wasn't a names-on-your-numbers kind of race, so I have no idea how they knew who I was or if I knew them. 

Off on the run, and, amazingly, my heart rate went where I needed it to go.  I felt like I was running way too easy for it to be so high, but I also figured there was no way I was going to be running that half marathon anywhere near fast, so I just went with it, only keeping an eye on the heart rate number and nothing else.  The run course was actually really nice.  A main road for a bit but then we went on some rolling dirt roads and saw hardly any cars.  We even wound up on a trail for a bit. 

Somewhere in the two-three mile range someone ran by me and asked, "Are you Molly?"  Now, this sort of thing has happened to me a lot over the last several years.  As you can probably guess it is mostly because of the whole thing in Lake Placid 2006.  Of course, time keeps passing and the realization that that was six years ago is astonishing to me.  At the same time, I've fallen so off the radar since then that I just assume that people have completely forgotten.  Was that really that big of a deal anymore?  But apparently people haven't forgotten about it. 

I ran with her for a bit and she told me she's been following me since that race.  She also very kindly told me that she was sorry to hear about my father.  I actually thought about him quite a bit that day.  The only other time in my life I'd taken the road I took to get to that race was when we were driving back and forth to the hospital he died at.  She also told me I was an inspiration.  This is not the first time I've been told such things by random strangers on the race course, although it's been a while.  It's definitely a bit strange to me especially since I haven't been incredibly inspirational as of late, but I won't lie and say it's not nice to hear.  The only thing now is that I have to remember that sort of thing and actually earn the right to be inspirational.  I think it's too late to ever get to do races anymore where nobody knows who I am, so I'm just going to have to get back to living up to my reputation. 

She took off and the run continued while I wasn't thinking about much aside from continuing to move forward.  The aid stations were sort of weirdly placed at random intervals, and the only bad thing I'd say about this race is that there were close to three miles after halfway in which there were no aid stations at all.  This is where I sort of started to lose it a bit.  I was thirsty!  And at one point I considered swimming across the lake back to the finish line, but I kept going instead, getting passed by plenty of people along the way.  I paid no attention to my time, I just wanted to survive to the finish.  I really miss actually racing these things, but I'm not really in a position to do that right now. 

The good news was that somehow I escaped the race with no blisters and once again, thanks to the awesome Pearl Izumi tri outfit, no chaffing.  Seriously, have you ever done an Ironman and not had even a hint of chaffing?  I have.  Get yourself outfitted in their stuff.  I crossed the little finish line and wasted no time walking back to the water to get in.  It was an overcast day for the most part, but at times it felt pretty toasty on the run. 

After that I had my Endurox and then sat at a picnic table with some random people.  I heard behind me, "Aren't you the one who won Lake Placid in 2006?"  Yep, that would be me.  Again, the anonymity is definitely gone even if it still surprises me.  I did win my age group, which was mostly due to the fact that once you took out the top three overall, there were only three people left in the race in my age group.  But I did get another shiny medal to add to the collection.  Then it was time to head back to the lake house where I pretty quickly got cleaned up and headed over to Wolfeboro to hang out with my friends there who had participated in the Chunky Dunk Duathlon.  It was a half-mile swim and a 5K run.  I kept thinking that I probably should've raced there instead! 

So, another little race done and another reminder that I do need to get back what I had before.  It's in there somewhere.  I seriously feel like I'm typing into thin air when I write these blogs so it's always a surprise to me when someone tells me they actually read it.  I mean, I know that's sort of the point, but that doesn't make it less surprising.  I plan on spending the next few months totally transforming myself back into the athlete who can really race these races, so hopefully it will be more interesting to follow.